As a senior in high school, I believe I'm supposed to be buying as much crap with "Class of 2008" stamped on it as I can find. What have I bought, though? Nothing.
Prom was Saturday, did I go? No.
Graduation is.. sometime, am I going to walk during the ceremony? No.
Apparently, this makes me very strange. I don't understand it though. I don't feel like I belong in my class or in my school. I have lots of friends, but they're mostly older or younger. It's not like I'm depressed, sad.. nothing. I just don't want to go. Why is that so hard to accept?
You're wearing a cardboard square hat with a tassel, and a really ugly dress, sitting their for an hour listening to the same speech given year after year about the 'journey' we are embarking on, then walking to get a piece of paper. Talk about boring, and I'm insane for not wanting to go??
My school sucks.. the only thing I'm happy about is getting the hell out of there. I don't feel any different, and doing these stupid traditions is nothing but a waste of time in my opinion. I'd rather be with people I care about, celebrating, not sitting there with 100 kids I'm barely acquaintances with being lectured in ways that, if boredom were lethal, would kill me. That's what I've done for the past 3 freaking years.
I just don't care... and I don't see why it matters... I do think there's something wrong with me though. The idea of my grandparents and parents telling me how 'proud they are of me for graduating' drives me insane, and I don't think it should.. But come on... It's not that hard to graduate high school. I know many, many kids that aren't intelligent in any sense of the word, but they're still graduating.
As for prom, why the hell do I want to PAY to hang out with people I don't like, in the gym of our high school?
Also I'm pretty sure 12 years in that hell hole they refer to as school has made me react to anything they promote with extreme bitterness. I just want to graduate and actually start living.
I still feel like I'm a kid though.. I'm hoping when I move I will be able to do the things I wish I could do now.. But here, with the same people I've been with all my life, I feel like I can't grow up.
Does anyone else listen to him? He's pretty much amazing, If you like electronica that is... Even if you don't he's really good. I've had the song Rainbow Veins on repeat for the past hour now.
I'm moving to Chicago in a little less than 2 months and I'm pretty nervous about it. The longest I've been away from family was a week at church camp a few years ago.. Which was far from a pleasant experience. I'm really excited though; Chicago will be a very nice change of pace. Right now I live between this cornfield, that beanfield, and those Amish people.. Yeah, it's about as exciting as it sounds. I'll be studying Webpage Graphic Design when I start college in July, so I can't wait for that.
